September 10, 2009
HATE LIST – Getting Dirty
I'm not a big fan of happy endings. I'm not saying that I don't like to see everything turn out all right in the end… okay, maybe I am. Because how often does it really happen? How often does everything magically work itself out by the time you get to page 300?
Face it, life is dirty and messy and imperfect. Things don't usually turn out the way you want, and sometimes they don't even turn out they way you expect. That's why I love HATE LIST by Jennifer Brown.
For those of you who haven't read it, here's the jacket copy from Amazon:
"Five months ago, Valerie Leftman's boyfriend, Nick, opened fire on
their school cafeteria. Shot trying to stop him, Valerie inadvertently
saved the life of a classmate, but was implicated in the shootings
because of the list she helped create. A list of people and things she
and Nick hated. The list he used to pick his targets.
Now, after
a summer of seclusion, Val is forced to confront her guilt as she
returns to school to complete her senior year. Haunted by the memory of
the boyfriend she still loves and navigating rocky relationships with
her family, former friends and the girl whose life she saved, Val must
come to grips with the tragedy that took place and her role in it, in
order to make amends and move on with her life."
Jennifer Brown isn't afraid to get dirty. She isn't afraid to tell you that time isn't always on your side. It wasn't on Val's. A summer wasn't going to make anyone forget that her boyfriend went on a shooting rampage that left a handful of dead kids in its wake. To Brown's credit, Val knows that.
But here's the interesting part, HATE LIST isn't really about hate at all. It's about love and pain and guilt and sorrow. It's about the choices we make for ourselves, and the choices that are made for us – the ones we can't control.
When I was reading HATE LIST, I couldn't help but wonder if there were teens in midst of one one those choices – or in the aftermath of one – reading the book, too. I wondered if there were kids out there who could see themselves in Val (or Nick), kids who would find hope (or direction) from their stories. People who felt they had made mistakes they could never rectify. Mistakes that would follow them forever.
That's the messy part – the part no one what talks about. The things people do when they lose hope. Sometimes those things are awful. Some of us may have done things like that, or been victims of those acts. Is that the end? At that point, have you run out of choices, or had them taken from you?
Jennifer Brown says no. Val shows us that there is always a way to start over – to pick up the pieces. Even when those pieces are you. It will be hard and it will be messy. And there may not be hugs and forgiveness waiting at the end, all tied up with a bow.
BUT YOU CAN START OVER. YOU CAN FIND YOUR WAY. Because there is a way – it may not be where you are, or what you imagined. But it's there. You just have to keep looking, like Val.
You'll find it.
Brittany said:
It is a good point that you can always start over, I think a lot of people lose sight of that. Most likely they believe it will be too hard and not worth it in the end. I am looking forward to reading this book.